More news from the Lewis household:
Emily, seemingly oblivious to the fact that this single act may cause World War III and furthermore wholly unsympathetic (if not quite miffed) about the role she plays in international politics, has done the unthinkable, the unpardonable, the substantially catastrophic. She has cut her hair…as some of the more hyperbolical among us have put it, “all off.”
Though the actual hair loss only totaled 16 inches, weighing approximately 5 1/2 ounces (the weight of an average-sized chicken breast), the loss to her bride-price has been calculated at one and three-quarter camels…or two good heifers in American currency. Emily’s father, interviewed just as plans were being laid out, called the act a “tragedy” but said he had no intention of stepping in. The mother, in an effort to preempt her daughter’s actions, bemoaned, “And I was so hoping you’d get married!” to which the eldest brother replied, with diplomacy fitful for his name, “Seriously, guys do not care that much about hair.”
All stoutness of heart in the situation can be attributed to one Natalie, who continued cutting even while the parents were begging her to stop, insisting that lopsided was in. The truth of this statement has not yet been verified, we are taking a poll (if you would like to participate in this poll, please click here). Emily, meanwhile insisted that Natalie…please…not leave her hair lopsided. Which, thankfully, she didn’t.
This happened the last Wednesday in November, 2006, at 7:30 in the evening, in the Lewis kitchen.